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Ahh 1950, my first time graduating High School. Billy got sent to Korea so I was alllll alloooonne.
October 12th, 1952. Not only was it Picture Day, but it was Hamburger Day at the cafeteria.
I always needed glasses. Finally changed ma frames in ’54. So I could be SEXAYY for the boyz at the malt shop.
Thus beginning my slutty face in ’56. Always had my mouth in the ready position.
Being the sex bomb I was, my 6th time through senior year I was voted Snow Queen at the winter ball. Suck it, Lesleyyyyy.
1962 and I still haven’t learned to put lipstick on the right way. Whatever, I looked hot. Snow Queen, remember?
’64 was the year I tried out for the Spring Musical. They didn’t choose me for the role of Maria. Said a hot latina like her would never have hair like that. HMPH.
I fell into a deep depression in the fall of ’66. Do not be fooled by the smirk. I spent day in and out watching Dick Van Dyke reruns.
Those glasses never came off that year.
1970! Yow! Grew the fro specifically so I could rollerskate around town listening to Bill Withers.
1972 began my androgynous phase. WhatEVERRRR girls can play football. ESPECIALLY girls whove graduated high school as many times as myself.
Went fem in 1974. I joined the Home Ec club and totally aced that project where we have to take care of sacks of flour as if they were newborn babies. ACED ITTT!
This was my rebellious stage, my mom told me not to wear the glasses, but I wore em anyway. I do what I want an’ I look goood.
Hear that? Thats the sound of PROM QUEEN NINETEEN SEVENTY EIGHT MUTHAFUCKAAAAS. Not that I was suprised. Blackmailed my way to the top. Michael Mancini would have beeen proud.
Loved loved LOOOVVEEDD my hair in ’82. So much that I named it. Jackie. Nope, didn’t stop there, Jackie (my head of hair) has a last name too. Blinders. Jackie Blinders. My hair.
Madonna is such a slut, here I am creating all these fashion statements and bitch steals em all! First Lesley, now Madonna. Ladies, be original will ya.
YES! 1958! The year I met Lesley Gore. She stole her look from me AND i’m in 2 of her songs. Oh yes...I’M JUDY. Lesley Gore’s NEMESIS.
This image is now displayed on my bedroom wall. I call it...My beauty photo.
OOOOhh! My second black phase! Curled ma hurrs and hung out with ma girls alot. “Hey Latisha, we gettin together later to watch living single o WHAT?”
1992 WAS MY YEAR! I was this hot and they STILL didn’t pick me for a leading role on Welcome Freshmen. Fuck you Nickelodeon, I’m gorg.
Changed my name to Allison this year. It just felt more fitting.
I don’t remember WHO told me the lez look was a good one, but I just thought it was a fine idea at the time. My Home Depot cashier job influenced me I guess..
I graduated with no honors, no clubs, no nothing. I spent the year mastering the yearbook photo. After all, that is why I repeated senior year 23 times. To get the perfect photo! By the year 2000, they invented the straightener. My. Hair. Looked. PERRRFECCCCTTT!! OMG.
HEADSHOTS!
THE YEAR 2000
MY FINAL YEAR
**certain things obviously not everything was made by me like the picture of well i don’t really know, or what have you, but everything else, you get what i’m saying is © Emily Razi youcanspellthis.com 2010-2012